Date nights are important for all of us. Single mom’s – go on a self care date or go out with a friend. Married couples – go on a date night. Date nights are important even when you are married. Especially when you are married. Everyone needs to take time to have fun!
Let me say that again.
Date nights are important.
I know, I was you. For almost a decade I thought a married couple having a corny “date night” was the dumbest thing ever. Yeah, I thought you should go out to dinner for your anniversary or something. That was it. I mean you are married now. You committed yourselves to each other – now focus on the family, deal with the house and the kids. Then my Boy came along. Autism reared its head in my home and we barely had enough time to focus on the basics. Care for the kids took on a whole new meaning. It was survive the day and keep everyone safe. Feed them and run them wherever they needed to go.
Then it got REAL.
At 8 years old, my Boy got violent. The aggression was so intense that every day we delt with him attacking me, throwing things, biting and kicking. I would go to bed bruised and bloody several times a week. My other kids were scared and I was pregnant.
I won’t lie.
I was scared.
For that year, we had battle plans. We survived. It’s a blur and I honestly don’t remember all that much. It was the beginning of a horrific downward spiral. I reached a point where I had no more to give. My husband and I rarely spoke to each other. I never spoke with my kids except to bark orders or shush them to be quiet – fearful they would set off another meltdown.
It was a cold dark place. I was there because I didn’t take care of myself. I didn’t take the time to enjoy my relationships – with my husband, my kids, my friends and family.
Or we expect to be.
But we aren’t.
We are women in that armor. We are women with needs. And a woman’s needs can only be ignored for so long before… before she breaks apart. But a Warrior Mom holds it all together. She expects to hold herself together too. Because that’s what a warrior does.
But every warrior needs to take the armor off now and again. Every warrior is a person first.
So Warrior Moms, you are no less a warrior because you allow yourself to be a woman. A woman in need of love… in need of care… in need of help…
What makes a woman amazing? She takes the love, care and help given to her – accepted by her; and she multiplies it 100 fold to pour back into others. So if you want to give love, care and help to those you are a caregiver for; first you must accept it from others. Then you can multiply that blessing.