Sometimes life gets so crazy. You are running here and running there, trying to accomplish the endless list of errands. This time of year it is easy to feel so hurried, so frazzled, so overwhelmed with things we ‘think’ we ‘have’ to do that we stress ourselves out and become cranky messes.
In addition to the holidays this year, we are in the process of trying to figure out why the boy is suffering from headaches. I have talked about the dental work he had done a short time ago. We were desperately hoping that would end his pain. Unfortunately, it did not.
The next step was to see if he was having vision problems that would be causing him to have headaches almost daily. So we scheduled an appointment with the eye doctor and took him in. I gathered his favorite essential oils, loaded up his wheelchair, made sure his iPod was fully charged and we were ready for battle.
I was pleasantly surprised when we were able to accomplish all that needed to be done in the office. No sedatives were needed (don’t get me wrong, Hubby and I had to hold down the screaming child in order for drops to be put in his eyes and then for the actual exam by the doctor). We discovered that the boy has an ever so slight astigmatism and it is just barely at the threshold where it begins to affect vision. The docs opinion? This wasn’t the cause of the headaches – especially since they have been going on for a substantial amount of time.
So we ordered some snazzy new glasses and managed to convince the insurance company to splurge for yellow tinted lenses. I hope they come in soon so that we can see if he will wear them and if they will help him at all. All we can do is see if they make a difference while we wait to see a neurologist for the next step in piecing together this headache riddle. Oh joy…
See we have no idea if the boy is in pain all the time. We have no idea if this is something that comes and goes or is with him 24/7. I hope and pray the poor boy doesn’t suffer all the time, but I have no way of knowing. All I know is that the pain gets REALLY bad at some point and it is at that point that he will begin to frantically smash his head on things, beat his head with his hands and have that sad look of utter pain in his eyes. It is the only time now that he will take any medication – if I tell him it will help his headache.
Oh how I hope this puzzle is solved soon.
And in the midst of all of this medical mystery, we have other children who are getting excited about Christmas and family visits. I have other children who are planning parties and Christmas dinners while secretly buying and wrapping gifts for one another. Kids who are counting down days and so full of joy that their enthusiasm can hardly be contained.
And I try to smile.
I try to share in the happiness.
I try to let go of the worry for the boy so I can focus on the other children.
But it is just so hard.
Then I was walking with the baby. We were walking across the yard after dark on a chilly night. As I walked with my flashlight, I was busy scheduling the chores for the next day. I was silently planning out how I was going to do all I needed to do. All of a sudden, the baby let out a happy squeal and yelled to me. I heard his little voice yelling to me “Momma look! It’s sparkly!” It took me a moment, and then I realized that the flashlight was reflecting off of the frosty ground and creating a beautiful display of twinkling light. The grass was sparkling and the baby was amazed.
It was then that I realized I needed to stop.
I needed to stop planning for tomorrow.
I needed to stop living for tomorrow at the expense of today.
I needed to enjoy today’s sparkle.
Make sure you stop and enjoy it too.